To blog or not to blog...

So... this is my first blog post.

I'm not too sure on how all this works, so bear with me. I'm also not too big on expressing my feelings, so be prepared to read some random, off-the-wall, "why is she talking about this" kind of things. First of all, I feel like I need to explain the name of my blog. Bees, Chis, Life, and Lungs, and why I chose that name. I know the last two are pretty self explanatory, but what the hey. I'll go ahead and tell you about those too.

The Bees- My sister's kids' are practically my life. They always have been, and they always will be. I have 2 (soon to be 3) nephews and 1 niece. Their names all start with the letter B. So- I call them "Sissy's Bees". This makes it easier to round them all up!

The Chis- I have two Chihuahuas who like to rule my life. The oldest- Pransi- is 9 years old, and is a laid back, mellow, lazy dog. She is such a good dog. She minds very well, is loveable to an extent, and is pretty protective of the family. The youngest- Polli- just turned 2 and is like a child needing constant attention. She minds about as well as a stick, loves everybody (and by everybody I mean- if you robbed our house, she would be wagging her tail and wanting you to pet her the whole time you were there), and she does not care who comes into the house as long as she gets a pet. She also has this thing where she gets so hyped up by anyone who is gone for longer than a duration of 20 seconds that she pees everywhere when they even look at her when they return. Sigh. I still love them both, although sometimes I wished I could just lock myself in a room by myself for 5 minutes. I don't know what I would do without them, though, because they are always making me laugh by doing some silly thing!

Life- This could be anything. No, seriously. Anything. If it doesn't fit into the other three categories, it automatically falls under this one. No questions asked.

Lungs- This would be where all the CF posts would fall under. Since CF affects my lungs more than anything else, I chose this to be in the title. Some things may be good, most things will be bad. That is just how it is with CF. Hopefully, though I will be posting more and more under the first three categories than I will in this one!

I made this blog in hopes of achieving a couple of things:

• Show that my life isn't always about the bad things. To help me to remember that I have three (almost four) babies that look up to me and that care about me and not my disease. Realizing that no matter how hard of a day or week or month or year I have had, all I have to do is think about those kids and my heart fills with love and joy! I can forget even for a second the problems I have and focus on just how much love and wonderful blessings I have instead. Posting the things they say or do can also help me remember just how precious and innocent little ones can be, and bring a smile to my face when I don't feel like smiling.
• When my life is surrounded by bad things, it should be okay to post about it. I don't want judgement passed. I don't want to be ridiculed or criticized. I just want to get it out and leave it be. We all have things we want to vent, gripe, cry, or be frustrated about. When this happens, I just want to be left alone. If you want to make me feel better, maybe an "I'm sorry" or "Hugs" or something like that will help. I don't want to hear that I need to stay positive. I don't want to hear that it will get better. I don't want to hear how much worse someone else has it, because I already know there are worse than me out there. And I especially don't want to hear how big of a baby I am. I believe that it is okay to be down and sad for a bit.
• Just because I may post a lot about my Cystic Fibrosis doesn't mean it rules my life. Yes, it is a big part in how I live. Yes, it does affect a LOT of my decisions. Yes, there are days that are worse than others. BUT- None of this means that I am giving up, or backing down, or letting myself go. It just means that this is how it is. Life is tough. Life with CF is tough. Living with it for 21 years has made me tougher. Being tough doesn't mean that you can't show weakness or fear. It means turning the weakness into a strength, overcoming that fear, and pushing on.
• Not all things will be about CF. Not all things will be about the kids. Some things may just be what's on my mind. Sometimes I need somewhere to just write things that go on in my head. I need to get it all out. Good or bad. It may be what I had for breakfast, or a new joke I heard, or what I think about someone. It's my blog, so I think I should be allowed to say whatever I feel like saying or want to say!

Well, that's all for my very first blog post. Maybe I snagged a few readers. Maybe not. I do feel better already though, getting all of that out, so I would say that I did something good. Hopefully soon I will have a better, more exciting post!