Overwhelmed.

I'm feeling a little better this morning, and can say that I believe I'm on the uphill climb of getting better. I slept pretty good last night, although I do still feel sleepy this morning. As of right now (halfway through a treatment) I don't feel near as tight chested or wheezy as I have the past few days. I'm thinking that maybe I'm still tired because my immune system was fighting whatever was making me feel bad, and now it's recovering? Maybe? I don't know.

I was asked yesterday if I felt any different, and just how different. And I did not hesitate to say that I am breathing better. There is absolutely no doubt that I feel better in my lungs. Even if I go back to the doctor and there's no significant change in X-rays or PFTs, I KNOW that something is different. Period. No one can tell me anymore that Kalydeco won't make me feel better, because it 100% absolutely positively has. I am so thankful that I got to at least try it because I'm sure that it has changed me- even if it's just made me cough less strenuously. That alone was completely exhausting.

I am trying to finish my homework before graduation. If I don't get good grades, I won't get to graduate. And I'm afraid if I don't graduate now.... Well, I'm just afraid. I hate that because of CF, I had to take so much time off from school. I hate that! Now I am more than a month behind on assignments and they are due within the next week. It's so overwhelming. If I hadn't had to go in the hospital, I would be on track right now. It's stupid. I am working as hard right now as I can, going from one subject to the next, doing past lessons while trying to work on current ones, while also trying to finish my internship... It's frustrating and stressful to say the least. My poor little body is so stressed out! I am trying to get everything done, but it makes me so tired! My brain, my body, my everything. My muscles are sore from sitting at the computer and writing in notebooks. I'm just frustrated that this seems to happen right when I don't need it to. It really stinks that no matter how hard I seem to get to catch up, I'm still so far behind. It really does a number on my confidence.

Well since I can't actually write while doing my treatment, this post took up treatment time. Now that treatment time is done, I am going to back to work. Sigh. I so wished that I never would have had to go in the hospital again. I don't know hospital stays can't wait until nothing important is happening. But CF won't wait, and neither will graduation, so I'm off to get as much done today as I can. Sigh.